Suggested Obama foreign policy Toronto speech draft
February 24th, 2010 by Alan
MEMO FROM: Alan
TO: Barack
RE: Suggested draft of Toronto speech
What a pleasure it is to be here in Toronto, surely one of the most enjoyable and cosmopolitan cities in North America, to talk to you about my plans for the phased withdrawal of our troops from Iraq, Afghaistan, South Korea, Europe, and everywhere outside our immediate geographical vicinity.
I really cannot think of a more appropriate place for me to be after the announcements of the last few days. A very significant number of those have come from you.
Well, let me tell you, the admiration is mutual. Americans may mock Canadians, but many of them wonder why we cannot create such a peaceful, prosperous nation, why we spend more on “defense” than all other nations combined (a fact that will change, and fairly quickly, given all our withdrawals and stand-downs worldwide).
Why are we not more like Canada? After all, we inherited the same Northern European laws, culture and work ethic, unlike our neighbor to the south, which, arguably equal to Canada in natural wealth, is a total basket case — violence, corruption, poverty.
Now if ever there were a place where America should invade to set things right….sorry, just kidding. We’re just not going to do that any more.
But I return to my earlier point: a great many of the good-will messages have flowed from Canada, and I can see our relationship growing ever stronger.
I thank you and all of your countrymen for the fifty flat-bottomed canoes, which we will use to transport our troops home. A most generous gift — thank you very much!
I cannot think of anyone who has haunted American history like Louis Reil, but perhaps our Canadian friends will send me, as they have so kindly offered, the gallows that so efficiently dispatched him.
Death by injection hasn’t been the panacea we thought it would be, and we need to make an example of the Bush criminals and their role in the so-called “war on terror.” Again, I promise swift justice against these crimes against humanity.
Only by our behavior — “walking the walk,” as we say in American English — can we show that we are the peace-loving nation we claim to be.
Again, let me thank you for the canoes. They will proudly fly the flags of our two nations.
[PAUSE]
The conversion of America from a war-ready military empire to a peaceful nation will take time and be resisted in many quarters. I dedicate the rest of my Presidency to this project. It may cost me my re-election, but at least the project will be started, and future Presidents will have to implement it. At least that is my hope.
I am truly looking forward to the next few days and to enjoying your city’s many delights.
Thank you.
Just because we kicked Japan’s but in WWII with home built atomic weapons, and Canada benefited from hiding under our nuclear umbrella.
Also, the US was in the lead of NATO, preventing the Warsaw Pact powers from steam-rolling through Western Europe as they did Eastern.
If Canada is kinder and gentler, its because they did not have to fight for their own survival as well as protect many other lands. (That is not to say they did not participate, but they did not run the show.)
If the US did not spend on defense, it would not have super-weapons to stick it with to the likes of Hitler, Khadafi, Osama, etc.
The problem is not that we are war mongers; its that we don’t supervise the military-industrial-media complex to prevent us from getting into wars for profit rather than purely military reasons. The problem really corruption- but can it really be rooted out completely?
Finally, this land is your land because they stole from the natives…and built it on the backs of slaves…and worship the all-mighty dollar!
Hm, he might well make a speech to China, to the effect that if we followed their lead, we would not be so far in the hole for wars, especially the foolish ones alluded to by the previous responder. More than one commentator has commented that China has managed to build an economy by garnering its resources. Perhaps Obama should also address the issue raised by the last responder: America’s shouldering the responsibility for halting aggression by the Hitlers and Khadafis of the world. Right now, it’s North Korea and Bin Laden. Who next? And if it’s not America’s military that does it, do we want to consider the consequences of having another country with a strong enough military to halt aggression? Other countries are always afraid of our intentions–we’d always be afraid of the intentions of others (we ARE always afraid of the intentions of others).
I’m not sure whether the “flat-bottomed boats” are a touch of wit, or a subtle suggestion that, while Canada is a peaceful, sensible country, its technology is somewhat lagging, compared to the militarily strong US, with its advanced technology. Are you implying that there is a price to pay for peace and serenity?
Reply to Just Because:
What exactly is America’s duty to protect other countries? Are we concerned about them only if they sit on seas of oil? Only if they are puppet/client states on the borders of America’s empire? Shall we dispatch troops to Africa? I was only half-kidding about Mexico - it is truly a mess.
Inevitably, the decision is made to intervene militarily, just as the govt. interferes with the lives of its citizens. What do you think of the idea that other countries must be allowed to settle their differences to a conclusion (Edward Luttwak), or perpetual war is inevitable, especially if a third, stronger power interferes?
America’s interventions: did they do anything but, as you say, enrich the military-industrial complex?
WWII is the “outlier” of wars: a case where our freedom was truly at stake. Still, Milton Friedman argues that it could have been avoided by economic means (even I know it was stupid to bankrupt Germany at the end of WWI).
But in which of the other hundreds of illegal, unconstitutional interventions was our freedom at stake?
BTW, since most of world was populated by humans for the last 100,000 years or so, you can almost certainly assume that ALL land was at some point “stolen from the natives,” many times, all before recorded history. Helps to take the long view.
Reply to Harry:
Yeah, actually America has a lot to learn from countries that don’t spend such a huge % of GDP on war, be it Canada, China, or Denmark.
I find it ironic that you speak of halting aggression. Nothing seems to be able to halt American aggression. I do not give America a pass on this. America’s historical record is shameful. The US is not always (or often) the good guy. I hope you agree.
The flat-bottomed boats were symbolic. If they’re a big deal to Canadians, then the Pres. should accept gratefully. At least, that’s how I’d do it if I were his real (as opposed to shadow) speechwriter.
Best,
A.
Private property needs an update when ownership is something like land. If you did not pay for it, with consideration in economic terms to the party you got it from, are there other forms of equivalent payment?
Say, your country protects another due to a military allience, and they, grateful, give you an island or port or somesuch issue. You might say it’s yours- earned with your blood. But then comes the third and fourth parties, who say it’s theirs cause their great grandfather’s cammel took a dump on it 300years ago and in their culture, that’s a valid claim.
If we all just stopped covetting material wealth an power, and spent our time on earth on more abstract concerns, say mathematics, astronomy, Internet pornography, etc, we would not have this idiotic generational right of passage where we kill perfectly good strangers in the name of God and Country.
We lose our lives out of fear of losing something else: money, land, political power/freedom- all no use if not able to enjoy them pushing up daisies.
But we have woven our lives so that other factors take priority, thus the wars over whatever. Thus the derivative duties to dominating others before they do the same to you!
Who protected whom in World War II? Canada as part of Great Britain declared war on Germany in 1939 and sent troops to Europe to fight the Nazis long before the U.S. did.
Canada did their part, but they were not the one of primary players who’s actions decided the outcome of WWII. The US defeated Japan, destroyed Nazi Germany’s infrastructure, liberated the Nazi occupied West European countries, held back the Russian advance futher into Europe, orchestrated the Berlin Airlift, and another myriad of goodies too numerous to mention.
Yes, the US was brutal, but the only thing a homicidal maniac dictator fears most is someone just like himself, only even more violent, ruthless, determined. Why do you think Stalin did not proceed? I guarantee it was not out of kindness!
Now, all the Allies sacrificed during the war, but special mention goes to the Brits, Americans, Jews, and Russians. I would go as far to say that victory was due to British Inteligence, American Ingenuity, Jewish Brains, and Russian Blood.
To Feel Less Insecure:
Contemplation is always preferable to conquest, but aggression and territoriality seem to be an ineradicable part of our chimp-brains.
I love your summation of what really won WWII. Jewish brains made a major contrribution to the nuclear weapons that ended the war decisively. And Russians died by the millions on their own soil, a horrific experience that Americans will never have and cannot empathize with.
I still think that WWII was unique in many respects and does not belong in any discussion of America’s penchant for invading and occupying other countries whenever its politicians think it’s necessary.
Mr. president,
It is with great honor to be able to welcome you to our country and a jewel within our country, the melting pot of the world, Toronto.
I find great symbolism in you presenting your plans where the greatest diversity of humanity comes together living in peace and harmony.
As humanity advances toward greater achievements it has become obvious we must look at those achievements not as American, Canadian or any other cultures, but as humanities achievements.
Your actions can be the beginning of a global awareness that we can evolve beyond the caveman mentality of clicks and clans. That we no longer need to solve our differences with hatred and violence.
Since the founding of our great nations we have been allies. Both of our countries have sacrificed hundreds of thousands of our soldiers to our fight for freedom. It was with the combined effort of all that we were able to withstand the tyranny that wanted to rob us of our freedom.
As Canadians we stand proud knowing that in times of war Canada has never retreated even in impossible odds. That we were the hammer used, when others failed. This sacrifice is no greater and no less than all of those that sacrificed their lives for what we were fighting for. The freedom to create our lives the way we want them to be. May this be the beginning of when we will never have to make those sacrifices again.
We are proud that you have accepted our gift of the canoes. These canoes represent an exploration into new territory. Canada was explored using these craft. They linked new ideas, new cultures, and provided safe passage in hostile environments to those that forged into unknown territory.
We look forward to your nations transformation. Your actions will herald the dawning of a new age leading the way towards a global effort to set aside cultural & religious dogmas. To become one large community focused on growth and harmony and equality for all persons.
We will have to focus all our efforts against those who would put profits and power before the good of humanity. With our efforts we can show them there is a better way to live.
And restore honor and truth to “Liberty and Justice for all”.